So the last time I blogged I ended talking about buying Fabulous a dress, leggings, shoes, etc. Here’s the thing…while he likes dresses, he never seems to wear them. He loves his nightgowns, and to him those are dresses, but at this point he is satisfied to know that he has pieces in his wardrobe that are from the girl section of the store. Be it shirts, pants, shorts, socks, etc. he doesn’t care how girly they look, or even if they are girly. This is enough for him.
So, the day after I purchased clothes for him he refused to wear his boy jeans, and was adamant about wearing his leggings, and glitter sneakers. Paired with an over-sized sweatshirt he went off to school as happy as could be. The boys made fun of him, the girls loved his style, and he couldn’t care less about how the boys felt. All his friends are girls anyways, and so their opinions were all that mattered to him.
Fabulous loves girl stuff, but his gender doesn’t define him at 6 years of age. He is a kid, and most happy doing things that kids do. Gender identity is something he thinks about occasionally, but it isn’t his life’s obsession. This differs greatly from what the media loves to focus on when it comes to trans-gendered people. Whether it be Caitlyn Jenner or Jazz Jennings, the focus is on how girly they are, or at least that is how the media tries to portray it. I get this, and while we are all happy that it raises positive awareness for transgender/nonconforming children, it also sends mixed signals to those of us new to the game, so to speak.
Fabulous is all about fabrics, the softer the better. Today he rocked a pair of girl’s jean shorts with belt, a pink and white striped t-shirt, and polka dot socks. He is still content to wear boys’ underwear, and we are happy to let that continue until he insists otherwise. Yesterday, he wore skinny jeans, a boy t-shirt, and his glitter sneakers. He’s content to flow back and forth, and for most children under ten this seems to be the case. We’re also fine with this, because this kid knows how to get dirty when playing outside, and to me he is a throwback to when I was a kid, when boys and girls didn’t worry about fashion, etc at the age of 6 or 7 because it wasn’t an issue for any of us.
My point is that not all women are super feminine, and so it should stand to reason that not all transgender youth would be either. Clothes do not define us as men or women, boys or girls. They can serve as an indicator, but most of us know our truth, and that doesn’t change when were dressed or when we’re naked. The same goes for Fabulous, and many other kids out there.